Log in

No account? Create an account
We're Better Than Gary [entries|friends|calendar]
We're Better Than Gary: Burning Toast for 21 Years

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[08 Oct 2004|08:13pm]

[ mood | accomplished ]

Ok, so I have a new icon. *points* The man is THE SEX.

I stalked saw him at Warped again a while ago. I think I drooled on his shoe. Oh, Wait! That's wrong, I stole his shoe. His left shoe. *nods*

I was going to get Chaser something of Patrick's but the fscking security guys said that I wasn't allowed to touch. Little did they know about the shoe in my backpack.

Need a cigarette ::wanders off::

post comment

[02 Oct 2004|12:46pm]

[ mood | rejected ]

I had a mohawk long before Sean did. Where are the women? Do I see women? NO! I shall never understand the phenomena of the female gender.

1 comment|post comment

[24 Sep 2004|01:18pm]
Slash makes the world go round. Especially that of the HP/DM persuasion.
Loser is off having a 'life' or something. Whatever.
I wear tops with fake nipples, and while, I'm sure the deans of the school didn't appreciate it, I'm sure rest of the student body did.

post comment

[23 Sep 2004|11:04pm]

I've been in Ottawa the last little while.

There's nothing like being harassed by crazy French Drivers. Margo was right, the French are insane.

Always believe Margo.

ANYWAY...Since Sean encompasses my entire brain, I went to a Chris Whitely show.

He sucked.

But just because Sean is so cool, and I love him, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt: Chris is a genius.

In some way.

Perhaps his "geniusness" is just not understood, except to other "geniuses", like Sean.

And my lover, BOY is acting aloof. I will never understand men.

MJ :)
1 comment|post comment

[23 Sep 2004|10:22pm]

Alouette, gentile alouette, alouette, je te plumerai!

I don't like oatmeal.

- G
2 comments|post comment

I AM A GENIUS! [21 Sep 2004|02:12pm]

[ mood | accomplished ]

For I have cloned myself! Scientists have been working on it for years and I did it on a whim. *cackles* Soon I will TAKE.OVER.THE.WORLD.
Witness the evidence
Apart from that major scientific breakthrough, nothing much has happened recently. The boards are broken apparently. Honestly! I run a tighter ship that this over at chat and I have PMS to cope with!

!LeXx and &LeXx

1 comment|post comment

[20 Sep 2004|05:19pm]

[ mood | hot ]

Yes. I am here. It's great, this badgery thing huh?

That is all.

4 comments|post comment

I less than three toast. [21 Sep 2004|12:02am]

[ mood | TOAST!! ]

I hate Diane. JUST BECAUSE I ACCIDENTALLY decided that maybe the reason why chat wasn't working because it didnt have enough butter on it and then just because I accidentally broke the wireless on her computer...I mean did she really have to kick me out of the house? I didn't think so. She shall be severely punished as soon as I become King of the ScottishNess

Went to Fionn McCool's again. Met waiter named Sean. SOOO not as cool as me. My ScottishNess is far more superior than his is. My scottishNess kicks his ScottishNess' arse. BWAHAHAHAHA!! fecking lightweight.

OOO its chilly out here in my card board box trash can shanty luxrious mansion. Must tell Smithers to turn the heat up. Oh, and must tell Fritz that there shall be more for dinner...

Upate on Billy: ALLY has informed me that it is an AFFIRMATIVE that Billy prefers this man named 'Dom'. Must look into this. This Dom may prove vital in the down fall of the So-Not-As-Scottish-As-Moi-Even-Though-Moi-Is-French-Fuck-Technacalities...what was I talking about again?

Alan Rickman didn't win an Emmy and I know why. Because Oliver Wood was not in the story line to which he was in. If there had been an incredibly handsome, witty, charmikng and alluring quidditch captain in the plot line, dear old Alan would have won. Poor him.

That is all i have time for I need to get out of this mansion before the guy that owns it realizes im in hed bedrobe and slippers and smoking his pipe... Fritz has prepared dinner. Yes I eat at midnight...**shifty eyes**

Bye Bye.

3 comments|post comment

[18 Sep 2004|12:30am]

[ mood | accomplished ]

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Jacob? If not, let me say it again: I love Jacob. I especially love him in that blue suit. So marfy.

In other news, I have been stalking loads more guys. I very sneakily take note of their information from their credit card reciepts when they pay for their subs at work, and then use it to stalk them until I find someone more interesting to stalk. Tis most amusing for me.

I mailed Sean's package yesterday. I hope he got it today because I paid enough to send it. Hey Sean, let me know when you get that package and if you like what the BF girls sent you. Sorry about not sending the list of stuff we blamed you for. I'll send it some other time.


2 comments|post comment

Who's an evil bastard? [17 Sep 2004|06:14pm]



{continues to crash webboard}

- G

4 comments|post comment

[16 Sep 2004|06:01pm]

On Saturday, I'm going to be in the same time zone as Sean.

But before that, I'm going to visit my other 21 year old brown haired actor.

I'm a sleaze.

MJ :)
2 comments|post comment

I lurk, therefore I am. [16 Sep 2004|04:57pm]

[ mood | lurky ]

I have come to the conclusion that my cousin is mentally challenged and should be banned from every kitchen on the planet. I was unable to do any work peacefully at Diane's without having to wipe butter off of the screen.

I was lurking around his website last night and spying on his insane and odd members. There is this member whose name is 'Fried Chicken.' Every time I see her post, I have an urge to break her bones. Then I visit Swiss Chalet.

Some of the questions that are posted for Sean are scary.

- G

1 comment|post comment

Is the legacy over...? [14 Sep 2004|07:24pm]
[ mood | complacent ]

Jeffy called me last night.

I answered.


I'm going to go get some lovins now.



2 comments|post comment

[13 Sep 2004|11:47pm]

[ mood | busy ]

Sean was being a moron tonight and tried to explain the political and economical effects of burnt toast on society to me.

So, I wrote a simple program to deal with his idiocy. It was designed for MicroScot platforms, but other file extensions are available upon request.

prompt Sean for instructions;
print instructions on his forehead;

while (question of where Sean wants to be kicked) {
output "nuts" and "ass";
prompt Sean for input;
read his answer;

if (answer = nuts) {
kick Sean in the nuts;
print report on his forehead;
return to beginning;

if (answer = ass){
kick Sean in the ass;
print report on his forehead;
return to beginning;

kick Sean in the forehead;

:: GARY ::
4 comments|post comment

*ponders* [14 Sep 2004|01:18am]

1 comment|post comment

[13 Sep 2004|06:22pm]

A wee poem from Margaret:

An Ode to a Man

Sometimes I like you,
Sometimes you're hot,
Sometimes all I wanna do,
Is kick you in the crotch.

*takes a bow*

OH! Wait a minute! Scotch rhymes with crotch much better. Ah, nevermind.

Hmmm... in other news... did anyone notice that Sean posts FAR more on here than he ever does on his message board? Send answers on a postcard to...

Mr. Paul Kelly
23 Wanker Avenue
Homosville, UK

23 comments|post comment

Oh the Possibilites of being king.... [14 Sep 2004|12:18am]

[ mood | TOAST!! ]

*sings* "Oh I just can't waaaaaaaiiiiiiiitttt to be KIIIIIING!!!!"

I really have nothing important happen to me. Is that sentence grammatically correct? Who knows. I don't care!! LA LA LA LA LA!!

I have decided to move to Norwegiana and live in the back country in a wig wam where grammar doesn't matter!!! *puts fingers in ears* LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!

I have to pee. I'll be right back.


Okay I'm done.

Just to clear things up, Guys, I am not having an affair with anyone...Okay? So please stop sending me 'Congrats' cards to congratulate me on me my relationship with...someone...And another note, how come none of the notes talking about my "girlfriend" have the same name?


Err...I mean I am seeing someone. Someone with big boobs. And is a man not a woman....I like boobs.

Oh shit,,,I just realised I can't be King of Scottish if I'm in Norwegiania,,,wait, yes I can. I'm the king!!! I can do whatever the hell I want yay!! LA LA LA LA!!! Like killy Billy!!!

I hate Billy. He thinks he's SOOOOO cool when really he is SOOOOO not. I mean obviously! Obviously I am the more scottish and all these congrats cards say so too!! So there!! I win!! Bwahahaha!!

Update on Operation Killeh Billeh: ALLY has informed me that errr....the wait....who did she put it...oh yes that "The Nasty" between them was uneventful. Apparently Billy likes males. Ally has given information on who she thinks will be Billy's next victim. Have begun approaching the victim to buy him out or at least knock him out and pose like him.

Okay I'm done guys. I need to go pack to go to Norwegiania!!!

Bye Bye.
Sean O Toaster

2 comments|post comment

[12 Sep 2004|09:27pm]
So. I'm a senior this year. I have no idea what I want to do after high school! Perhaps there is some opening somewhere as professional slash reader. It could happen...

I believe the flashlight I um...found has some sort of super powers, like findind slash, why else would she keep it on her? I shall name it The Slashlight.
post comment

Save a horse, ride a donkey! [12 Sep 2004|08:47pm]

Did you know that you can adopt a donkey?

The Donkey Sanctuary

Well, in light of the information that donkeys, in fact, do not have penises, I cannot name my adopted donkey Gregor.

I shall name him Paul.

3 comments|post comment

Woe is me, and ho is you. [12 Sep 2004|04:09pm]

[ mood | blah ]

Where to begin? Last night at some ungodly hour, I took down Sean's webboard for minimal maintainence. I then proceeded to fight with the missus over my excessive lurking on the Internet. She's right, I'm wrong. It's the same sick foreplay we've been running since we got married. The outcome was different this time. Long story short, I'm staying at Diane's house tonight and I hope Sean doesn't try to make instant oatmeal in the toaster again. I wholly wish he would make use of the subscription to Report on Toasters magazine Diane and I bought him for Christmas last year. There are some interesting how-to tips that even Paul could understand.

:: GARY ::

P.S. I would just like to add that as much as Diane may try to dissuade you, I do in fact have a wife. She's a sexy fashion model and YES, it is possible for a sexy fashion model to like me. And no, it's not true that the only reason I'm staying at Diane's house tonight is because I'm terrified of being alone in the dark.
18 comments|post comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]